Senshin (Sweden, 51yo)

Antaiji: You guys who stay there are my heroes and you are my heroes because I have no heroes.

A strong memory I have and which is a bit funny and serious at the same time.

I had some zen-training in La Gendronniere temple in France. Good in some ways because I realized the endless road that lead me to Antaiji and beyond myself but...

Anyway, teachers took turns leading the sesshins. Some teachers at the temple used to have some good perfume and it smelled really good when He walked past in the midst of some of the stinking beasts around me (oh, not me of course) in the morning, in kinhin; checking the postures. It opened up myself to the possibility of : "maybe I too should get some good perfume like that. It sure is attractive...." Since then I had this nice Guerlain perfume on me me when traveling, going out etc.... Real good quality exlusive stuff. Anyway, after some weeks at Antaiji, there was a party and I took some of that perfume on me and it smelled like ABSOLUTE SHIT!

I quickly washed the awful smell away and I realised that in this natural place you dont need that crap. Nature have its own and the scents from incence, natural is enough. Mind too smells, dwell in zazen and all the shit comes out, do some time and zazen purifies naturally elegantly everything. The Lotus flower, ah!

Returning from Antaiji, I returned to a world where I need that perfume on some occassions. It is like late Jim said: "I drink in order to stand being around assholes and that includes me"

In Antaiji, I feel you dont NEED that stuff. Wonderful practice, bitter medicine and sweet mind.